Sometimes I wonder why marriage has to be so hard. Isn't it supposed to be fun? Uplifting? A meeting of compatible minds and hearts that support and accept each other, no matter what? Does anyone think it just comes easy?
I personally believe that marriage, and even love, is a CHOICE. Each day, you make a conscious decision to be a wife or a husband... to love the person you vowed to love and cherish. Anyone who believes that 1. marriage makes everything easier, or 2. you can change your spouse to make him/her more of what you want, is an idiot. If you chose someone who is somewhat moody, then don't expect that person to be any different 10 years down the road-- unless he/she sees those personality traits as flaws and wants to change for himself/herself. And PLEASE, by all means, don't think adding children to the mix is going to make easier an uncomfortable, unhappy or volatile marriage.
I envy those couples who have an easy manner to their relationship. Each of them seems to be happy in their own skins, happy with their environments, happy with those around them... and this is the way it is ALL THE TIME. How can that be? Is it reality, or do they just put on a facade for all of the world to see and covet? I'm sure all relationships have some sort of issue or another at least occasionally... right?
God says that marriage is holy covenant before HIM between a man and a woman. Marriage should not be entered into lightly. Also, once you're there, every effort should be made-- on a daily basis-- to keep that marriage happy and fulfilling to both people.
I have a good friend whose marriage everyone else looks down on... she basically has had every responsibility of family and home thrust upon her shoulders. People tell her constantly that she should 'boot him out.' Well, she loves her husband... she took vows... to love and cherish, for better or for worse... in sickness and in health... She doesn't take those vows lightly... they are nothing to be thrown out simply because of hardship or inconvenience... If more people took these vows seriously, the divorce rate wouldn't be so high...
My advice to myself and to others... put and keep God in your marriage. Pray daily for the patience and understanding that it takes to put "self" on hold sometimes and think about yourself as part of a single unit. It's hard, but everything in life that's fulfilling IS.